I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize