haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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