I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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