After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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