Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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