More tranny stories later!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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