You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
