I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize