i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
