Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
