I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
