Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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