I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
