this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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