Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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