she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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