you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
