I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I smell stomach acid.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
