i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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