If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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