I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
