Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize