my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
