dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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