i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
