it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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