a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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