There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
