OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
