Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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