my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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