I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
