omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
