Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize