what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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