He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
