Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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