I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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