i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
