So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
