You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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