Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
