Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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