OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
