if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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