is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I wear drunk well.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
