Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
