Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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