i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
