I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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