I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
