I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
