New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
smell my finger.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize