you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Too much gin, very little bucket
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm too high and old for this...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
