Im at strip club and am horny
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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