Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he puts the penis in happiness.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
