Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
