i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
